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(2 Yew Are My SunShines | Sing Into My Machine)

longing... [28 Sep 2004|11:29pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Wow..2nd update in 2 days..i went to college tonight and had a nice talk with Jen. Then i came home and went with my mom to Mt. Pleasant. So anyways there is this feeling of i dont really know, but i dont like it, its kinda like wanting something i cant have..it hurts..more then you know..but i love my friends for being so supportive..especially Noelle! hah..i dont really know what else to write

(1 Yew Are My SunShine | Sing Into My Machine)

[27 Sep 2004|11:06pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

So i havent updated in awhile, didn't see a need i guess. Well..Pete broke up with me a little bit ago. It sucks, im dealing with it though, it just hurts. I hung out with Jordan when i got back from Florida and that was a blast. I had a lot of fun. Hes such a funny kid. I also hung out with my friend Phil.I havent hung out with him in a real long time, soo cool. I <3 them both.

*School started and its going ok so far. I work in a first grade every Mon.and Wed. from 12:40-2:25 and i love it. Its soo much fun. Shannon L. Is one of my new good friends, she cracks me up, especially when we talk about class and the cool people in it. Haha. Powderpuff started and that is SO much fun I love it. My College classes arent to bad either..I know people in both classes. So thats real cool..

I thought i had a point in updating this but i think i forgot what that was.I wish i felt better, like i know im getting better with everyday, but it stil hurts. At least i had fun while it lasted. And my last week in FL with my family was alot of fun. I realized how much i really love all of them.

My car is broked! Im so mad. My key keeps getting stuck or something, so tomorrow i have to drive my brothers car to school and college, not that i dont like my brothers car, i just wish my car wasnt a peice of shit. Oh man! I seen Napolean Dynamite for the 3rd time Saturday night with Shannon.I love that movie. Its sooo funny. I really want to see Shaun of The Dead too.Well i think thats enough for an update.

(2 Yew Are My SunShines | Sing Into My Machine)

I'm Back [29 Jul 2004|08:16pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

SO im finally back from Florida. I had so much fun with Pete, it was the hardest thing in the world to leave. But i know he loves me and i will see him soon and everything will be ok. We did so much stuff i dont even know where to begin to describe what we did so i will leave it at we had so much fun together. I will update more later

(Sing Into My Machine)

Floridaa [28 Jun 2004|04:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

So since im just sitting on my ass right now i figure'd i could update. I got to Florida on June 15 i think..anyways..its been alot of fun. It makes me sad to think i have to leave in August and then i have to wait til December to see him again. But its ok he's worth the wait.

We went to the beach and haha i went in the water and jumped cuz i thought sumthing touched my foot, but apparently im a jackass and nothing did.

Pete's at Orientation for college, and his parents are with him, so im sitting here at his house with his brother..yea..exciting...blah..oh well. I really like Pete's mom she's a real nice lady. Me and her went and got our nails done last week. w00t! haha.

Since i've been down here my sister has been e-mailing me with the funniest things in the world. its makes me laugh. I love almost every thing about being here, though i do miss a few things about home..like Shannon and my mommy and daddy, getting drunk wit Justin and Alicia, Kayla and Jacob...But i love being with Pete so i can deal with missing those things..besides i will get to see them when i get home..

I get to start Delta in te fall too..that'll be..fun...Dual Enrolling. I hope it makes the time go by faster. Because im going to have a hell of a time next year counting down days till i'll see him again.

Oh man i seen Dodgeball the other day and i laughed my ass off. Me and Pete both lauhed when this part with a moped came up cuz we thought of Matt. Hahaha I wish he didnt have orientation today and part of tomorrow. This sucks. I think im done now..

(Sing Into My Machine)

New Journal [16 May 2004|07:13pm]
I got a new Journal..
So Add me because yea..

Prom was Saturday..It was soo good..The whole day was beyond perfect..I loved every second of it. Pete looked really good, and a bunch of people complimented me. We got a lot of pictures. They turned out really good. We went to dinner with Jacob and Kayla. It was so much fun.
Today i got my tattoo..I LOVE it!!!!!!! It didn't hurt nearly as much as i thought it would.. Well i thinkim going to try and sleep now.. Oh yea.. Kayla looked soo pretty last night, and Jacob looked very nice too.

(3 Yew Are My SunShines | Sing Into My Machine)

[07 May 2004|06:37pm]
Of Course everything i ever hope and dream for always gets smashed down. This isnt fair. Im trying to support him on this decision, but its so hard. I don't know if i can. It hurts so much, It came outta nowhere. I love him so much, I wish he felt the same, I kno he loves me, but since he made the decision hes gunna move and i wont see him for 8 months and he'll find someone better and then i'll be heartbroken like tonight all over again. This fucking Sucks

(Sing Into My Machine)

Assholes! [06 May 2004|07:39pm]
[ mood | happy ]

So apparently Petes parents are assholes! I shouldnt be talking about this but i cant help it. They told him he was a failure and a disappointment and what not, and that im unpresentable. Gah!

They made him get his hair cut! Its short now, i like it, it was just weird at first, they took his car away, they took his cell phone, took away phone, TV, Radio and Internet privlidges and what not, for something really dumb. I feel so sorry for him. They were going to make him move to Florida Memorioal Day weekend, and he wouldnt come back and i couldnt go there this summer. So dumb..

But my parents kick ass and told him to move in here..So He Is!!! My parents are being so cool about it all. They said they'd love to have him, and he doesnt have to worry about paying for anything. Hes going to register for more classes at Delta and just stay here. Hes moving out tomorrow!

Im so excited. But im scared too. Im terrified of his parents, because i dont know how they are going to react. They always threaten to kick him out, so i dont see the big deal. I just want everything to work out, which im sure it will. i'm more scared for him though. Everything hes going through has to be fuckin stressful as hell, and scary too. But he said he knows this is what he wants to do. I love him! And i just want him to do what makes him happy.

On a lighter note. Sean is already at Cedar Point. I miss him. He should call me. And Sunday the 16 (the day after prom) i get my tattoo!! My appt is at 5. Im sooo excited. Just kinda scared abut the pain, but i'll survive. Its so worth it.

Well i think im going to go do my English Paper. Its due tomorrow..bleh

(1 Yew Are My SunShine | Sing Into My Machine)

[03 May 2004|07:00pm]
I want to be in A Band Again....

(Sing Into My Machine)

[02 May 2004|06:44pm]
.I Feel Like Shit.

(Sing Into My Machine)

[23 Apr 2004|10:11pm]
I want a new lj layout. Someone help me please!!!

(Sing Into My Machine)

[22 Apr 2004|07:32pm]

Which Family Guy character are you?

(Sing Into My Machine)

No Sleep [21 Apr 2004|10:52pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Ok so I can't sleep for the life of me. I wish i was sleepin. Im suppose to be getting lots of sleep, but i can't even get tired. I have nothing to do. No one is online so I have no one to talk to, there is nothing to do, I have already watched a large amount of movies, i cant leave because i cant drive, I dont want to go fer a walk by myself. I'm sad because I'm a fucking idiot. Petes upset at me i think. I'm upset at myself.

Maybe Thats why I can't sleep. Im thinking to much. If I could stop thinking and stop hurtng then I could probably sleep. Something really really dumb upset me soo badly today. Pete was talking to Sarah, yes the Sarah I oh so Fucking hate more then anything and that made me soo fuckin upset. I can't deal with anything involving her. I thought i would have gotten over the whole thing with her by now, but apparently I haven't.

There is something good like good news that i heard today. A week after i get better i get to get my tattoo. Im soo excited. Im just really scared that its going to hurt real bad. Im getting it in the middle of my lower back, and its a self drawn design. Im really excited. Im just gettin in in Black and White to start with, then later on i'll get it colored in. I think. I don't know. I know I want color in it, I just dont know if i want to get it all done right then, or do the black and outlining now and then wait a while and get the color. Its confusing. Im excited as fuck though. Someone leave me a comment telling me how bad there tattoo hurt. I know im getting it regardless of pain and whatnot. I just want to know what to expect.

I found out some stuff today that i really didn't want to hear and it made me cry. That's right cry. It was horrible. I was all drugged up from the meds, and it all just overwhelmed me so i cried for like 2 hours straight. I have another Doctor Appointment on Friday at 1 But this Doctor appointment im kind of scared to go to. Its an OB-GYN and they should tell me if i need surgery or what i need to do to get rid of this besides take the medicine.

I am excused from school until Friday, because after the appointment they will tell me if i can go back to school next week or not. Im kind of hoping for yes, because yea i love sitting home and doing nothing, but when your alone it gets boring, all i do is watch movies and feel like shit. If i had friends with me or something it wouldnt be so bad. But im lacking that. I just want to get better. This is seriously like some of the worst pain ever. I feel so bad for anyone who has ever had a cyst rupture inside your stomache. It hurts like a bitch, especially if the fluid that got out when it burst infected things. Cuz then its like 10 times worse. I think im done with this update for now.

Everyone have a nice night. I'm jealous of everyone that is asleep right now. Lucky Sons Of Bitches. I want to fall asleep so bad. well Goodnight.

(3 Yew Are My SunShines | Sing Into My Machine)

Back.. [20 Apr 2004|11:24am]
[ mood | nauseated ]

So i finally got back. Like Saturday at 4:30 in the morning. Pete came and picked me up. It was cute. I had alot of fun on the cruise for the most part. I met some really cool people.

I met Amanda who i absolutely loved. She was like the best to hangout with, and she was definately just way awesome.
Tony- Amandas brother who was also really nice and way fun to hangout with, i didn't hang out with him as much as i did Amanda, but when i did it was mega cool.
Mike- I dont even know what to say about Mike except he has got to be the coolest fuckin 24 yr old guy ihave ever met. I was sooo glad i met him and i hope we keep in touch. He was so sweet too.
Jarett- I dont really know what to say. Haha but his room made me sick. Haha. he was pretty nice for the most part though..
Shane- Definately one of the more confusing people i met, but oh well. He was nice sometimes, and pretty cool to hangout with usually.
Tony (not Amandas brother)- really nice to me, but not to nice to Amanda after one night. But overall he was a nice guy and cool to hang out with.
Zach- Ah, i only met him for like the last night, well it was during the day but we only had one night left. Lots in common and very very nice. Definately way cool to hang out with.
Shannon- Well i knew her when we left. Haha but she definately made the cruise pretty enjoyable.
Ben-Definately one of the funniest kids. Watching this kid kareoke to "Hero" by Enrique Iglesias was the funniest thing ever. He was just a really cool kid to hang out with all the time.
Landon- Hah Tex, what a kid, very very funny, and way cool. Summer nights on kareoke was def. way cool.
Doug-Ben's brother, dont know what to say, but you were nice and yea hah.

I think that was all the people i met that i actually talked to, except Jessica, but i dont even want to get into that.

The Bahamas were pretty cool. One part was kinda scary though. Me and my sister almost got hit by a towtruck, and everyone there are like the worst drivers ever. But there was some definite awesome things in the bahamas. Freeport was really nice, everything was really clean their, and i really liked it. I got some cool stuff there too.

Overall the cruise was way cool, and i had a pretty good time. I hope to keep in touch with everyone, though i doubt that will happen, i would like for it to. The days back werent so great though..

Saturday at Petes was pretty fun but i had a stomache ache, not sure why, i thought alcohol poison, but later on we found out im wrong.

So Sunday about 7 Petes mom demands I got to the ER because i had such sharp pains and like couldnt move. So i listened to her and her and Pete took me. I got in and the nurse asked where it hurt, took some stuff from down there, which was weird. Then she took some blood, by that Time Mrs. Coonan was in the room with me cuz i was all covered up. Then the Doctor came in So Mrs. Coonan left cuz he did a pelvic exam which hurt like a bitch.

The doctor left and the nurse came back and put a Cathedar (sp?) in and that hurt like a fucking bitch. Mrs. Coonan came back in after i was covered up again and the nurse informed us that i had to have an ultrasound. So by this point im freaking out. Then the nurse gave me a shot of Toderal or something weird like that on my hip, which hurt, like it stung for ever. So i get wheeled down to the ultrasound room, And the lady did one like on top of my stomache. The she hooked something up to my Cathedar which drained into my bladder, and then drained it out, and then did an internal Ultra sound. When she was done she wheeled me back to my room.

Pete and My dad and Mrs. Coonan all came in by now and apparently i dont look so good. Then the nurse came in and gave me an IV and i almost cried, But i had cried already enough because of the excruciating pain in my lower stomache. After like 20 minutes the nurse came back in with this HUGE thing of red stuff im suppose to drink. until 12:45. It tasted like shit.

Finally at like 1:15 the nurse came down and wheeled me to the room where the give the Catscans. The nurse hooked my IV up to some dye stuff. And started the Catscan. That was kinda scary. But at least it didnt hurt. Hah. After she was done with the Catscan she flushed my IV with some Saline stuff and wheeled me back to my room where Pete and my dad and Mrs. Coonan came back. We ended up waiting until like 2:30 when the Doctor came back with my results.

Apparently i had an ovarian cyst burst inside my stomache or something, which caused a build up of fluid that they have to remove. But not only that i have a bunch of Oarian cysts on each of my ovaries which is really bad i guess. So i have to go to another doctor OB-GYN on Friday. Im kinda scared. They might have to do surgery to get them out, or they might use some sort of Hormone thing, but theres always a chance for another one to Rupture, and i have been in like horrible pain forever. And havent been to school Monday, since i didnt get out of the hospital til 3 in the morning, and Petes mom just took me back to her house. And i didnt go today because of the pain, my dad just said to stay home. So i did.

I was prescribed some Ponstel for the pain. so im just suppose to be taking it easy for awhile. So i think im going to end my update now.

(Sing Into My Machine)

[08 Apr 2004|03:11pm]
Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates aten!
your best quality isyou help friends in need
your worst quality isyou think people judge you
this is becauseyou are who you are
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a11
your best quality isyoure hilarious
your worst quality isnothing bad i can see...
this is becauseyoure true to yourself
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

awe. I miss him soo much. I leave tomorrow Morning. Driving to Florida, then getting on the cruise to the Bahamas. I'll be back the 19 so i prolly wont update again until then. I'll miss you.

(Sing Into My Machine)

Stolen From Chelseas Journal... [07 Apr 2004|07:51pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

First best friend: Justus
First Car: Beretta
First date: to the movies
First Real Kiss: I think 7th grade.
First break-up: Jeff
First Screen name: HotPunkGurlie i think..
First Self purchased album: The Verve Pipe
First funeral: Grandpa Burkey
First pet: Dog named SteppinWolf
First piercing/tattoo: both ears
First credit card: dont have one.
First true love: He knows who he Is..
First enemy: I'm not sure..
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Neil Young

Last cigarette: I dont smoke
Last car ride: Coming home from School.
Last kiss: 12 days ago from Pete
Last good cry: Today
Last library book checked out: It Happened To Nancy
Last Movie Seen: Texas ChainSaw Massacre
Last beverage drank: Jones Soda - Fufu Berry
Last food consumed: Dots..
Last crush: Pete
Last phone call: Pete
Last time showered: This morning
Last shoes worn: my adio sandals
Last cd played: mix of 311
Last item bought: 4 pack of Fufu berry Jones Soda
Last annoyance: My nails..
Last disappointment: Today, Found out June is only like 40%
Last time wanting to die: Dont know
Last time scolded: Dennis yelled at me today..
Last shirt worn: Black SpitFire shirt
Last website visited: livejournal
Last word you said: "How are you the Genious of The dumbest Shit"
Last song you sang: 311 - Love Song
What is in your cd player: a mix
What color socks are you wearing: None.
What color of underwear are you wearing: Pink
What's under your bed: nothing.
What time did you wake up today? 5:25

Where do you want to go? Florida, then England
What is your career going to be? Not 100% sure
Where are you going to live? Not sure.
How many kids do you want? 2.
What kind of car? VW Beetle haha.

Current mood: lonely and bored.
Current music: Goldfinger - Pictures
Current taste: FuFu Berry Jones Soda
Current hair: half-up, messy.
Current clothes: Strawberry Shortcake Pajama Pants, and T-shirt
Current annoyance: Missing Pete
Current longing: Being with Pete
Current desktop picture: A really pretty Sunset
Current favorite artist: Vincent Vangoh
Current book: Go Ask Alice
Current dislike: Pete not being here.

My name is: Jaclyn
I may seem: Inconsiderate
But I('m) really: Easily Hurt
Sometimes I feel: Depressed
In the morning I: want to wake up to Pete
I like to sleep: In Petes arms.
If I could be doing anything right now I would be: With Pete
Money is: Something Nice.
One thing I wish I had is: Pete here right now
One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: Regret
All I need is: Love
If I had one wish it would be: That June happens
Love is: great.
If an angel flew into my window at night I would: Laugh and wake up.
If a demon crashed into my window I would: I'd say "Graceful landing"
If I could see one person right now it would be: Pete
Something I want but I don't really need is: Money
Something I need but I don't really want is: school.
It makes me angry when: People assume things that arent true.

(Sing Into My Machine)

[07 Apr 2004|03:51pm]
Everyone Hope For June. I Know i Am. I want this to happen more then anything. Please let it happen this June.

(Sing Into My Machine)

Everythings Gunna Be alright. [06 Apr 2004|01:32pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Yesterday i hung out With Sean.We went to Dennis's i got some stuff i wanted.Then we watched Gothika, it was alright. Then Sean brought me home. SO i came insde and started talking to Pete on the phone. Everything was going fine until he got online.

When he got online he started freaking out, saying he was being replaced. Thats not true at all, i was just hanging out with some frinds becase hes in Florida and i was bored. He said a bunch of other things that really hurt and i ended up crying my fucking eyes out. It hurt so much that he would even think it let alone say it to me.

The conversation got really bad and i ended up calling him a fucking asshole. I didnt mean it though i was just really hurt. I didnt know what else to do. So that came out. Its not true at all though. Hes such a sweet person. I love him so much. I dont think hes an asshole at all, cuz hes not.

He's changed so much from before and that makes me respect him way more, and it makes me love him even more. Like he use to smoke alot of pot, and now he doesnt do it at all anymore. Which is what i wanted, i mean im sure im not the only reason hes not doing it anymore, but i know im part of it. Which i sbsolutely love. Though just because he has stopped that, doesnt make us perfect little angels though, we do indeed do other things that are probably in ways worse, but Oh well..

Back to Last night, our fight ended up lasting awhile, and alot of things were said that probably shouldn't have been, and it was ridiculous, though it probably was like 100% my fault. After awhile he asked if he could just call me so i told him yes.

Within like 10 minutes of being on the phone everything was getting so much better. We both ended up apologizing, and everything was turning out to be alright. Now everything is back to where it was before. I love him so much, and i dont want to do anything to fuck that up. Hes what i want, just him, nothing more. With him everythings perfect. He makes me so happy. I wish he didnt have such an anxiety about it, but i think its just because hes gone that its acting up so bad. He doesnt have anything to worry about though because i do love him. Soo much.

Today I didn't go to school because i havent slept in soo long so i decided i was going to stay home to try and sleep. Well at 10:48ish Pete called me because if i were at school i would have been a lunch. We talked for a little bit but he wanted me to go back to sleep so i did. Then he called me at 1:40 to talk before i had to go to my doctors appointment, But im an idiot and didnt hear my phone.

So at the doctor she up'd the dosage of Zoloft, and gave me Klonapin, and Fluoxetine. Then she told me to reschedule a return appointment in 4 weeks for my ear. So after all that i came home, and here i am. Waiting to talk to Pete. I miss him. I really do love him so much. He gives me these feelings that i have never had before, like i dont even know how to describe it. But all i know is i love him, and i would do anything for him..

Thats the end of my update.

(1 Yew Are My SunShine | Sing Into My Machine)

[04 Apr 2004|09:03pm]
So apparently Im an apathetic, fucking loser, Bitch. Haha

(1 Yew Are My SunShine | Sing Into My Machine)

[04 Apr 2004|10:00am]
Who will you be stuck with at end of time? by chi_a_baidh
Your name is
Your sex is
Your favorite color is
You are stuck there becauseeveryone else died due to the wrath of God
For _____ years74
He/She will think you arebeautiful
You willrepopulate the earth
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

(3 Yew Are My SunShines | Sing Into My Machine)

Watch As The Tears drip Off My Face [03 Apr 2004|09:56pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

So today i hung out with Sean. I love that Kid. Hes so cool. We went to the mall, and then hooked up the girl he was meeting. She was really cute. I hope things work out between those two. They would be really cute together.

I feel so bad though because i started crying half-way through it. So then we came back here because i was crying and im a bitch. Then i went to Dennis's. We watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre. and yea. That was pretty cool.

Im sorry to everyone i inconvenienced tonight. I really am. And Sean im even sorrier to you. I feel horrible. I did like Christine, and i really hope things work out for the two of you. You looked very cute tonight and im sure it impressed her.

Like i had a really fun night with Sean like hanging out with him, until i started crying, and i still had fun with Sean and he made me feel alot better, but regardless it was ridiculous that what happened had to happen.

Things are alot better now though, i talked to him, and we worked things out. Im soo glad. I dont know what I'd do without him. And im so glad i have the friends i have.
Sean - your are such cook person I love you so much, your a great friend.
Courtney - Funnest girl ever. Bestest Friend!
Dennis - Very cool kid, your a great person i <3 you.

I dont really have many friends though, so i dont have many people to write about. I do know I Love Pete Coonan! And he makes everything so much better. I just wish we didnt get into fights over stupid things sometimes.

I think thats the end of my update so yea..

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